Our light-filled sanctuary and central location make Trafalgar Presbyterian Church a popular location for weddings. Please read the following information before contacting the church office about your wedding.
Initial Arrangements
All weddings performed in Trafalgar Presbyterian Church are subject to the approval of the minister and the church Session, and no booking can be confirmed until a meeting with her has taken place. It is unwise to make other firm arrangements before then. In addition, if the bride or groom wish to involve another officiant in the wedding service, arrangements must first be discussed with the minister at Trafalgar.
About a Church Wedding
Christian marriage bears witness to the love and will of God for all creation. A Church wedding is therefore a service of Christian worship that attempts to express the church's understanding of Christian marriage. This includes prayer and the reading of scripture.
The Christian marriage service upholds the ideal of equality and mutuality between marriage partners. The vows taken by the bride and groom are identical and the covenant is one of self-giving. There is no giving away of one or both parties.
The covenant made between a man and a woman in marriage is private, but it is also a public covenant made before God and witnesses. It is a covenant made for the good of the natural and social order and is rooted in faithfulness. In the marriage service, we are reminded of the faithful God who entered into covenant with a special people.
You may wish to consider using a printed service folder containing an outline of the wedding service with a list of the people participating, and various bulletin cover designs are available at church supply houses or Christian bookstores for this purpose. In Oakville, you may wish to contact Good Books at (905) 844-3102. Please be aware that if you reprint any copyrighted material, you must obtain permission for its use. Where this pertains to musical selections, please speak to the music director or minister for further information.
The normal order of a wedding service at Trafalgar Presbyterian church is as follows:
Processional
Call to Worship
Prayer of Adoration
Scripture Reading
Meditation
The Rite of Marriage:
The purpose of marriage
Declaration of intent
Affirmation of family and friends
The vows
The giving of rings
Prayer of blessing
The declaration of marriage
Signing of the register
Benediction
Presentation of bride and groom
When you meet with the minister, she will provide you with several marriage service outlines and appropriate scripture passages to choose from. The minister will be happy to guide you in this process, but you are encouraged to spend some time deciding what kind of a worship service most reflects your relationship and your faith.
The Reception
If you would like the minister to come to the reception, please ask her in good time. A written invitation avoids any misunderstandings. Keep in mind that it will not always be possible for the minister to attend.
Fees
There are several fees to consider as you plan your ceremony here at Trafalgar:
For the services of the music director: Rehearsal....$75 Wedding....$150
For the services of the custodian....$80
There are additional fees for those who are not members of Trafalgar Presbyterian Church:
For use of the church....$250
For the services of the minister, in the church building....$250
For the services of the minister, at an off-site location....$300
Please place the fees in separate envelopes and give them to the minister at the rehearsal.
Planning the service
The minister is responsible for the content of the service, but the bride and groom may share in the selection of readings, music, and prayers. Family or friends may be asked to participate in some parts of the service, in consultation with the minister.
Holy Communion may be celebrated as a part of the worship service, but is appropriate only when all or most of the congregation can participate.
If the couple wishes, the marriage rite may be included in the public Service of Worship on a Sunday morning. In such a case, the couple would come forward after the sermon to make their marriage covenant.
The most appropriate place for such a worship service is in the sanctuary of the church. If, however, you have in mind a location other than Trafalgar, please speak to the minister.
If you are simply looking for a place to get married, then perhaps this is not the place for you. But if you believe in God, and would like others to join you in giving thanks for the blessing of God in the gift of marriage, then we will be glad to celebrate this special time with you!
Church Membership
It is possible to be married in the Presbyterian Church even if neither of you are members. We are, of course, always glad to welcome new members and should you wish to profess your faith within the community here at Trafalgar, arrangements can be made through the minister. To join the church simply to have your wedding here, however, seriously under-values what membership in the Church means.
Incidentally, there is a difference between arranging to be married and arranging for baptism. In marriage, the two of you promise love and loyalty to each other, while in a baptism the parent(s) and congregation make special vows to God. The Presbyterian Church in Canada therefore requires that those seeking baptism for themselves or their children be or become members of the congregation.
Re-marriage of divorced persons
If you have been married previously and are now legally divorced, the minister will want to discuss these circumstances with you.
Marriage licence
The licence is valid for three months from the date of issue, so you should apply well before the wedding date. You must have it at least three days before the ceremony. In Oakville, you may apply at the Town Hall. Please bring the licence to the church no later than the rehearsal.
When both the bride and groom are members of the Church and attend worship services regularly, it is possible to be married by the publishing of Banns instead of by licence. Please note that if either the bride or groom has been married before or does not attend church services regularly, a licence must be purchased. This may be discussed further with the minister if you wish.
Marriage preparation
Being married involves a great deal more than simply celebrating on a special day; it is the beginning of new challenges and changes for both of you. For this reason, we ask that all couples make arrangements with the minister to participate in The Marriage Preparation Program. This interdenominational program is supported by the Anglican Diocese of Toronto and is suitable for people of all ages and backgrounds. Courses takes place in various church locations around the Toronto area, and include a Friday evening and a full day Saturday session. Fees for this are $69.55 per person.
Music
Because the marriage ceremony is a service of Christian worship, the music is directed towards God. Some musical selections which are not suitable for this purpose may therefore be more suitable at the reception.
Flowers and decorations
Make arrangements with the florist of your choice. If you are having flowers delivered to or arranged at the church, please inform your florist that the church is not open until one hour before the wedding.
Please advise the minister what you intend to do with the flowers, pew decorations, etc. after the service. If they are left in the church, it will be presumed that you are leaving them for the church to use or dispose of.
Photography
Photographs may be taken during the entry of the bride, when the bride and groom are leaving, and during the signing of the wedding documents. Flash photography detracts from the dignity and meaning of the service of worship and is never appropriate during the ceremony. Time-exposures may be taken from the rear of the church at any time. Please advise your photographer, friends, and relatives of this policy.
Videotaping
If pre-arranged, video-taping of the service may be permitted. Video operators must, however, be discreet in their use of lights and must remain stationary so as not to distract attention from the worship service.
The rehearsal
It is important to walk through each step of the ceremony, to practise unfamiliar actions and to determine the order of processions and seating. This results in more orderly worship and a more relaxed wedding party on the day of the wedding. Please arrange a suitable time and date with the minister. The rehearsal will take approximately 30 minutes, and it is expected that you and your wedding party make every effort to be prompt.
Please note: We ask that you do not use confetti, rose petals, or other items to be strewn in the church or on the walkway outside the building.
And finally...
All of us here at Trafalgar wish you the very best as you prepare for this most important and exciting day. Please contact Rev. Kristine O'Brien for more information.
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